Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize