dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
