I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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