dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
