I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're too hungover to prance.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
