Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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