between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I intend to get homeless drunk
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize