My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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