We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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