Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
