Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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