Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
