Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
