her vagine was all disorganized.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
