Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize