ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The air taste purple.
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