I'm lost and stupid without you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
