I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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