just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
