Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
