Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
