Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
