I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
