dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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