Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
