My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
