can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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