how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
