She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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