Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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