She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you would pick up someone in the library
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
