My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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