so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
