But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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