I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
