I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and she was petting her beer can
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
