Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
