yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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