to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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