Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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