Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize