i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
