Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
