dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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