Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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