and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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