My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
