i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
