Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
