Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
