you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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