Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
