First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize