kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wear drunk well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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