he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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