Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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