I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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