no. you can't hotbox the world.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
