I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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