CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
