I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
