What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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