Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
