No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize