I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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