It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
