How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize