the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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