dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
