he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
