He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
