he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
